This hurts you more than it hurts me, cause I'm immortal and stuff.

I got a B on my Calculus 2 Test! Yay! Really surprising considering I assumed I did really poorly. I am quite happy about my grade :)

So I went to my friend Stephen's church this last Sunday and I heard a sermon that really didn't sit well with me. It was about the story of a man named "Uzzah" who tries to stop the Ark of the Covenant from falling into the dirt and when he touches it he is struck down by God.

Apparently it's justifiable that Uzzah was murdered on the spot because his hands were "too unclean" to touch "God's throne." I suppose he should have let the Ark fall into the mud and then just left and been like "oh well, I can't pick it up because otherwise I'll be screwed." But no, he tries to help and God gets pissed and shoots him with a big "F you."

Why is God's rule in this story so harsh and so unconditional and arbitrary? I mean it's such a strange rule. I also find a few things to be inconsistent. Like why are the Jews allowed to worship an idol (the ark) yet God condemns other idol worship?

Idol:

noun

an image or representation of a god used as an object of worship.

Also how were the Jews even able to create this idol without touching it? Or were all the constructers killed, too? I mean, that wouldn't be any MORE cruel so...

What really shocked me was how smug the preacher acted. As if it was somehow good or just for God to kill this guy. I'm trying to decipher how this story fits with the idea of a "loving benevolent God" and the whole idea of mercy and kindness in the New Testament.

Honestly, the sermon made me sick. I'm sure it's a "fault" of mine for not accepting that a "benevolent" God is able to just fly off the handle and bitch-slap someone to death for touching a shiny table.

I talked to Stephen about it and he had some words to say about it that I still don't agree with. I'm really struggling with some of the things the Bible teaches and it's making it really really difficult for me to accept Christianity. I'm sorry, but I really can't justify this story. I really can't in good conscience.

Mr. Pompous Preacher Ph.D. would probably say that I'm evil because I can't justify this story. Whatever. More thoughts on this later I guess... when I have some time to think.